Website- http://home.inreach.com/kumbach/velcro.html (Velcro Crops)
The authour is Ken Umbach, he is a satirical writer who writes short witty articles for various magazines and websites. The authour clearly created the information himself calling upon fake sources for information and predictions. The author does not leave their contact information on the page.
Obviously, the page is written in humor and is not meant to be taken seriously. It is in fact, satirical writing. It is most likely aimed at bored college students or middle aged people working a dull desk job. The page is quite old for a web page, 1996, and has not been updated recently.
In conclusion, it is just an old satirical web-post that is meant for humor.
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